Choose Christ
You may say 'I am not good enough. I have done too much wrong' or whatever. The truth is, friend, none of us are good enough. That is why Jesus Christ left His throne in Heaven, came to earth, suffered and died on a Roman cross...Romans 3:10 states "there is none righteous, no, not one." We are all sinners. Romans 5:12 says "all have sinned" that includes me, my pastor, even the Pope himself! Romans 5:8-12 tells us that Jesus Christ IS righteous and if we come to Him and ask Him to forgive us of our sins He forgives us and cleanses us. His death in our place means we can be clean by His blood shed. He gives us His righteousness and delivers us from the condemnation that sin brings.
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You may ask 'does God really love a sinner like me?' The answer is yes, indeed! John 3:16 says that God so loved the world, that He gave His only son so anyone who believes on Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Two chapters in John, 19 and 20, tell of Christ's crucifixion, death and glorious resurrection. The 53rd chapter of Isaiah tells what Jesus Christ would be like and how He would suffer for our sins. This was written centuries before Christ was born. Mark 15 and 16 as well as Matthew 27 - 28 and Luke 23 - 24 also tell of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection.
Next you may ask 'how can I even approach God to be saved? I can't imagine how He can do this for me but not expect me to change FIRST...before I come to Him.' If WE could become clean in ourselves then Christ died for nothing. That's like saying I'm going to clean up before I take a shower. Choosing Christ is as simple as saying a prayer such as this:
Dear God, I know I am a sinner. I believe Jesus Christ, your Son, died on a cross to save me. Though I, myself, am not worthy I know that the blood of Jesus is powerful enough to cover all of my sins and cleanse me from them. Now I accept what He did on the cross for me and I ask Him to be my Lord and Savior. I believe that You, Jesus, are the Son of God, You died to save me from my sins and rose from the dead on the third day after your death.
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If you sincerely prayed that prayer from your heart, Jesus Christ forgave your sins and saved you from eternity in hell. Welcome! You are now part of His family!
Now What?
Find a Bible and begin reading it daily. Until you can get a printed version there are several free on-line versions to choose from, such as Bible Gateway.
The book of John is a great book to begin in. Expect resistance! The enemy of your soul, the devil, is not happy about your decision and will try any tactic he knows to draw you away from Christ. Find a church that preaches and teaches the Bible so you will have someone to go to with the questions you will have as you study. Don't expect perfection (from yourself or the church you attend) but DO expect God to speak to you from His Word (the Bible you are reading) because He will!
My prayer is that the Lord will bless you with His joy and and keep you by His power.